


Operation 'Baghdad'

by jennyjar



Category: Spooks | MI-5
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24317314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennyjar/pseuds/jennyjar
Summary: There was something else that happened in Baghdad
Relationships: Ruth Evershed/Harry Pearce
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Operation 'Baghdad'

A/N English is neither my first nor second language, proceed at your own risk  
Whatever you can recognize isn’t mine.

...“What happened in Baghdad?”...

*****

She knocked before the courage, she wasn’t exactly feeling, deserted her completely. 

Harry opened the door, a drink in his hand. It looked like he was done for the day - barefeet, no jacket or tie, his shirtsleeves rolled up, a few top buttons undone. “Ruth?”

“Hi…” she had her speech prepared, rehearsed, but one glance at Harry, and she forgot what it was she was going to say. Worse, though, she began to suspect that she made a big mistake coming here.

“Ruth?” Harry repeated, “Did something happen?” The clear concern in his voice shook her out of her stupor.

“No, it’s not...” she began, then quickly looked around, “...can we...not here...”

Without a word, Harry stepped aside, letting her in. He also scanned the hallway before shutting the door.

“Please,” he ushered her towards the sitting area of the room. Ruth made a couple of steps and halted, her fingers tugging at the soft fabric of her blouse.

Waiting for her to speak, Harry walked past her to the coffee table. “Would you like a drink?” he nodded at a lone half-empty bottle of scotch.

“No, thank you,” Ruth ducked her head and continued tugging nervously at the fold of her blouse.

After another long moment of silence Harry took a sip from his glass. “Ruth, it’s been a hell of two days for the both of us. I still have to decide how much the Home Secretary should be informed about this. So, if you could…”

He looked at her expectantly. She opened her mouth and closed it without uttering a word.

Harry tried again, “Is it about the deal?”

“No...it’s…um...” was all she managed. The scraps of her prepared speech floated in her head, refusing to come together.

“Is there a problem with uranium delivery routes?” he frowned. “Mani is working on…”

“It’s something else,” she interrupted, shooting him a quick glance.

“I’d be surprised if there wasn’t…” Harry grumbled under his breath. “Very well, let’s have it.” Heavily he sat on the sofa, gesturing Ruth to take the armchair across from him. She didn’t. Harry’s frown got deeper, “So, what is it? Our cousins running a separate deal? The cowboys from 6 plotting something?”

Ruth swallowed and said, “No, Harry, it’s us.”

“Us?” he looked at her, surprised. “5?”

Ruth’s “no” came with more exasperation than she intended, and she wasn’t sure if it was Harry or herself that got her riled. “Us.” She underscored her words drawing a vague line between them with a slightly shaking hand. “Us.”

“Us?” Harry stared at her dumbfounded. “As of a few seconds ago I wasn’t aware there were any ‘us’, Ruth.”

“Come off it, Harry, I see the way you look at me,” her hands shook a little harder. “God, everyone can see that…”

Harry watched her for a long moment, then said, “I never made it a secret that I wanted to date you...”

“But I asked you…” she interjected.

“Yes,” Harry nodded, “and I’ve left you be, haven’t I?” He swirled his drink and took a sizable swig. “Only I can’t just turn off…” He pursed his lips, unable or unwilling to continue. After another swig, he did, “And I still think that your reason for dumping me is a complete… nonsense.”

“I didn’t dump you…” Ruth began, but stopped under his accusing gaze. “Well, not like…”

They both remained silent for a moment - him watching her, her looking anywhere but him. At last Harry decisively put his glass on the table and said, “What is it about ‘us’ we need to discuss?” His smile was melancholic, when he put the air quotes around ‘us’.

“There is...it’s just...” Ruth stumbled over her own words. 

“Ruth?” his gaze on her was warm and sad. 

Trying to hide from it, she walked to the window. “This op...it got me thinking...” she started, paused to take a deep breath, and then started again. “...nobody here is getting exactly what they want... But everyone gets something, so this deal is an easier pill to swallow.”

“We all want the things we can’t have. Being a decent human being is accepting that,” Harry said quietly.

She shot him a quizzical look over her shoulder. 

“John Fowles.” Harry shrugged. “I didn’t mean to… Sorry, go on.”

“Right, and I thought...” Ruth took another deep breath before firing the rest of the sentence. “If we do it, like you know, do it, it will be easier to get over...it. Us....” She exhaled and turned to look at Harry.

He stared at her, his jaw slack.

“Harry?” she prompted him.

“Did you just say what I think you said?” he asked carefully.

“If we shag now, you’ll get what you want. Sort of… And this whole ‘us’ notion will stop being something elusive… fascinating… Oh, so god-damn marvelous… That should make work life much easier for the both of us in the future,” stumbling, Ruth rattled it off in one go, afraid that if she stopped, she’d never be able to finish. It wasn’t exactly an elegant and thought-through speech she prepared, but it had to do. At the end she sucked in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Her hands were visibly trembling, so she clasped them together.

Harry, who stared at her through the little performance, shook his head, and said incredulously, “That is the most insane idea I’ve ever heard from you, Ruth.” Then, after a pause, he added as if to himself, “That is the most insane idea I’ve ever heard from anyone…” 

“Are you refusing me?” she challenged him, her voice quivering a bit.

“Refusing you?” Harry gaped at her. “Hell’s bells, you are serious.”

“Of course, I am.” She was embarrassed of how her voice began quivering in earnest, but couldn’t do anything about it.

Harry got up from the couch and walked around the coffee table toward Ruth. For a moment she felt like stepping back, away from him, but at the end she stood still, waiting for Harry to get closer.

“Look, I appreciate the offer,” he stopped, leaving a few feet between them. “I don’t usually get propositioned by beautiful women, even out of desperation.” Ruth opened her mouth to interject, but Harry waved her off. “You are beautiful, Ruth, absolutely beautiful, and brilliant, and kind.... You deserve the very best.” He rubbed his forehead, sighed, and continued, “I am sorry I make your life more difficult than it should be. I am truly sorry.”

As he spoke, Ruth’s eyes began to get misty.

“I will do my very best not to be too obvious in the future,” Harry half raised his hand to touch her, but reconsidered and shoved it in his pocket instead. “You know it’s not the way I wanted ‘us’ to go...” He air-quoted with one hand.

She was not going to cry, Ruth told herself. She just wasn’t. 

“But we don’t have to do anything about it. Tonight or any other time.” Harry nodded to underscore his point.

“Yes, we do…” she whispered. 

“Ruth?”

“I do…” It came out so softly that even she wasn’t sure she actually said it.

But Harry heard her. His probing gaze searched her face until he found his answer, “Oh, Ruth…” He took a step forward, and she leaned in. “Oh, Ruth,” Harry repeated. His arms slowly went around her, and he gently pulled her to him. 

As he held her close, lightly stroking her back, she felt the tightness inside of her that she never noticed before began to loosen up, and then dissipate. His solid body against hers, the faint smell of his cologne, the care with which he held her, all of it made her believe that it didn’t have to be the way she intended it to. That there might be more for the two of them than just a manageable work association. 

“Harry, you have to promise me,” she whispered before she lost the last vestiges of her resolve. “Promise me that whether this works or not, once we are back in London, you will never bring it up.” Harry’s hands stilled their movement. It seemed like he held his breath, listening to her. This was harder than she could ever imagine. Unbearably more so. But she pressed on, “You will not mention it, refer to it…” Harry sighed. “Even if it’s for an op, you will not use it. Ever.” Harry pulled her a little closer. “You will not look at me. You will not touch me. You will not…” She couldn’t speak anymore without choking on her tears.

For a while he waited for her to continue, then sighed again and murmured into her hair, “I promise, Ruth…”

Her wet cheek pressed to Harry’s chest, she listened to the steady beating of his heart. She knew unless there was a clash with his Oath of Allegiance, he’d keep his promise. Of course, he would… But as her lips searched for the bare skin in the opening of his shirt, she wasn’t that sure that she really wanted him to.


End file.
